How to Sit With Difficult Feelings

You open your eyes and already know it's going to be an emotionally tricky morning. There's a mood in the air, a restlessness in your chest, like small sparks flickering everywhere. Your thoughts begin to gather speed:

'Ugh, another day of this?'

''I felt fine yesterday - how did I end up here again?'

'I can't trust anything.''

I hate waking up like this.'

'Okay… let me try what my therapist suggested…'

And so it goes.

The mind can be a clever trickster, finding a thousand ways to keep us caught in its loops of fear, guilt, or hopelessness. The wish to feel better fights against the heaviness of the feelings themselves.

But here's what I want you to know: these feelings cannot keep you stuck. However overwhelming they feel in this moment, they are designed to move, to shift, to pass through you like weather across a sky. You have moved through difficult feelings before - even when you didn't believe you could - and you can do it again.

The Truth About Feelings

Feelings are not permanent states, even though they sometimes feel that way. They are energy moving through your body, information trying to reach you, parts of you asking to be seen. And when we turn toward them with curiosity instead of fear, something remarkable happens: they begin to soften, shift, and release.

Right now, you are where you are, and that's okay.

Try, just for a moment, to resist running away from what's here. The Icelandic saying goes, 'peeing in your shoes will only keep you warm for a short while.' Avoiding pain might bring brief relief, but it never lasts. The only way out is through - but you don't have to go through alone, and you don't have to go through it afraid.

You are so much more than what you feel. These emotions are not all of you, even though they can feel like they have you wrapped tightly in their grip. They are just passing weather in the vast sky of who you are. If it helps, imagine your feelings as stars scattered across a night sky. However bright or dark, they are all held by something larger and still - the wide, unshakable sky that is you.

A Practice for Moving Through

Let's gently turn toward what's happening inside. This is the work we do together - learning to be with ourselves in a new way, one that creates space for feelings to move rather than staying trapped.

Find a comfortable position - sitting upright if you can, or lying down if that feels better. Close your eyes, or lower your gaze to a comfortable spot in front of you. Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. (Notice with curiosity any critical thoughts towards this practice of self-care)

Take a slow, deep breath. Imagine yourself taking the elevator down from your busy mind into the quiet of your body.

Now, begin a gentle scan through your body. Notice what sensations are here: maybe a tightness, an ache, a flutter. Don't force anything. Simply notice.

What do these sensations want to say? Or maybe they don't, and that's okay too.

Sometimes an image appears: a scared child, a small trembling animal, a tired old woman. These are parts of you that learned to hide long ago. Let them come. You don't need to fix them. Just notice them, allow them some space. You might say quietly to yourself, 'Ah, I recognize this sensation, this is the part that feels small and fragile', or 'this is the one that's angry and hurting.'

Keep noticing. Resist the temptation, however strong, to go into stories and narratives. The invitation is to simply be with what's here. This is how feelings begin to move - through your willingness to feel them, not through trying to figure them out or make them go away.

If you can, hold this image or feeling with kindness and curiosity. You might even imagine drawing it close to your heart and whispering, 'I see you. I'm here with you. You can't keep me stuck, I'm learning to be with you.'

At first, your mind might resist, mocking or doubting what you're doing. You can simply say back, 'Thank you, mind. I know you're trying to protect me. But right now, I'm taking care of myself'.

Stay with the process a little longer. There's no rush. Sometimes, what we needed most as children was for someone not to turn away, to stay until the tears, anger, or grief had space to settle. Now, you get to offer that presence to yourself. And in that staying, in that willingness to be with what is, the feelings begin to move.

When something begins to shift - when you sense a little more space, a softening, or a quiet acceptance - that's your nervous system letting you know it's safe to begin to return. This is the movement you were looking for. Not the absence of feeling, but the flow of it.

Take a few deeper breaths. Give your body a gentle stretch or hug. Slowly open your eyes.

Thank yourself for taking this time. For choosing to stay and listen. For trusting that you could move through this.

You Are Already Healing

As you move through your day, try to hold both the tasks at hand and the quiet memory of this inner work.

The feelings that once felt unbearable have now been seen, felt, and gently welcomed. They are no longer exiled. They have moved through you, leaving you more whole, more integrated, more free.

This is the practice we return to again and again - not because we're broken, but because we're learning a new way of being with ourselves. Each time you do this, you strengthen your capacity to move through difficult feelings. Each time, you prove to yourself that you are not stuck.

You have always had this capacity within you. Together, we're simply helping you remember how to use it.

These feelings cannot keep you stuck. You are learning to move through them, one breath at a time.